21 personal growth lessons to thrive in 2023

You cannot outsource your personal growth. No one can do for you what can only be done through you.

I’ve been to many seminars where many people somehow think the people organizing the event are responsible for their progress. They’re not.

Participating in a program or event can be a stimulus for your growth journey, but no one can grow for you.

You are leading your own life and in charge, whether you like it or not.

You are the only one responsible for your growth.

Strategic thinking has always been important but will only become more relevant in the following decades.

Tactical living means that you always look at the effects of things and not at what is causing them. You are always searching for that bit of information that will make all the difference in your life or career but are totally overwhelmed by everything you need to learn.

If this is your default operating mode, you will always remain dependent on someone doing your thinking.

But if you start to think strategically and look for the big truths or principles behind phenomena, you will also begin to understand the different outcomes.

Wisdom lies not in knowing all the manifestations of a principle or cause but in understanding the law or the principle itself. Read that again. We have written a separate article on this topic.

There is a reason why fundamental sciences like physics try to uncover the laws governing the universe and, from that understanding, try to explain all the possible manifestations of those laws. First principles thinking is truly a Magic Move.

The best reference we have for understanding the principles that govern life is, of course, nature itself.

To progress our personal or professional development, we shouldn’t just go wide and grasp the interconnections between information. We should also go deep into the topics that can profoundly move our lives forward.

Repetition and deep reflection are core elements of mastery. Read, study, and reflect on the same material repeatedly. The big principles governing our personal and professional lives are the best material to study.

Surprisingly, when you do this, you keep learning new things. Not because the information wasn’t there before but because you are processing it from a different level of understanding. Your awareness is not the same anymore.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. You don’t see something that was not there. You are looking as a different person.

You should set aside about 3-5 books, programs, or resources that contain a lot of big ideas about personal or professional development and study them over and over and over again.

The information will sink deep into your subconscious mind, which will have no choice but to process it, and you will start to have flashes of insight that can move your life forward.

Many of the great books were written before this age of distraction because people had more uninterrupted time to think, and their attention was much more focused.

How many of us ever take the time to sit down and contemplate a specific subject or intellectual challenge? Imaginative, strategic, focused thinking is at the root of every great invention or insight.

Instead, our minds are constantly bombarded and over-stimulated with many distractions.

When did you last sit down with a blank piece of paper and take the time to think an issue through? Most people never do this.

You can start each day with a blank piece of paper and journal about your personal development for a certain time.

Try it. You’ll be surprised by your ideas and insights.

If you base your thinking and vision of what's possible for you only on the outside world, you will always go around in circles.

You will think, feel, and act according to your present environment. This is a recipe for stagnation.

Growth always happens from the inside out, never from the outside in. You can attract energy from the outside, but the transformation happens from within.

One of the advantages of living in the 21st century is seeing more and more people move toward and realize their dreams despite their past or present external circumstances.

These people refused to let the outside world or circumstances dictate what was happening inside them and decided to move forward.

Do you have a specific, written description of the kind of person that you aspire to be, with strengths, weaknesses, character traits, and more?

Most people have never even given this any thought.

Furthermore, most people let other people set the standard for themselves. We feel a need to be just like that influencer on social media we admire but who's unfulfilled. Or like that entrepreneur who makes a lot of money but might have a disastrous family life.

You can learn from others, but set your self-image and do your own thinking. You are perfectly able to determine the kind of person you will become. In fact, you have no other option because everyone else is already taken.

You are unique, and your purpose is to develop and express who you are, not to be a copy of someone else.

We discuss this in our free online program, Personal Growth Essentials.

Correct, climate challenges, racial injustice, poverty, and war exist. But most people live and work in much better conditions than in any previous age.

Pick a time you think was better than today and research the average person's standard of living in your region or country. You'll likely find that this age is not so bad.

There is good in everything if only we look for it. And when we find it, we should be grateful for it.

Problems make us aware of situations we need to improve and of the incomplete state of human consciousness. Every crisis or challenge carries the opportunity to find a solution and make the world a better place.

Problems can (and should) be seen as stepping stones for personal and interpersonal growth.

Focus on what is right in your life. What you focus on will grow and blossom.

But this is only one way of looking at ourselves. When we change our perspective, we arrive at a completely different conclusion. We can change our point of view and cognitively reframe this situation.

Another perspective is recognizing that you are a unique individual and an absolute miracle in and of the universe.

The universe supposedly began with the Big Bang 13.8 billion years ago. For the first few billion years, there was nothing but radiation, clouds of dust, and some crude matter here and there. And yet here you are, eons of time later, as a living, breathing being who is not only alive (how did that happen?) but also conscious.

You are a miracle. Each of us is a piece of stardust that has become aware of itself. Our aliveness, self-awareness, and consciousness are baffling and some of the biggest questions in science.

We even implicitly value the worth of a lifeform based on its level of consciousness. For example, we have fewer problems with ending the life of an insect, plant, or mouse than that of a monkey or a human being.

So while it is true that there are 8 billion people on the planet, everyone is both unique and nothing but a miracle.

Being consciously alive is incredibly rare in this enormous universe.

And yet, here you are.

You may feel small, but your consciousness is no small thing.

There are many things computers do better than people, such as storing and retrieving factual information.

People do many things better than computers, such as thinking out of the box, sensing emotional signals, or working in groups.

Your ability to see the connections between different domains is more important than what you know.

Strategic, critical, and creative thinking will only gain importance. Think about the fundamental principles, look for systems, and think out of the box.

Learn to use mind maps, make your thinking more structured and visual. Technology is a means to an end, not the end itself.

Living in a globalized world implies being more and more exposed to different cultural and sociological perspectives.

We often approach a subject we have some experience with from a place of complacency. We believe our point of view is correct, but this is not necessarily the case.

Staying open-minded to other people's views allows us to gain more insight into our convictions. Openness and constructive dialogue create connection instead of division because there is no need to agree or disagree.

The question is not about right or wrong but one of understanding and compassion. An optimal dialogue entails openness from both sides, but our responsibility is to take the lead to open the door for the other party.

There is something to learn from everyone or every situation if we only look for it.

Sometimes your head points in one direction, but your gut points the other way. Which route to follow?

When you have a strong visceral feeling about making a particular decision, and when this feeling persists despite rational arguments to the contrary, it is wise to explore what this means.

First of all, intelligence or rationality is not always the best tool to approach a situation.

Like a knife, the function of the intellect is to cut open, dissect, and analyze details.

Cutting, dissecting, and analyzing works fine for some purposes but is inadequate for others. Intellectually talented people approach every situation rationally, even when a more intuitive, emotional response is more appropriate.

Examples are relationships, art, creativity, and searching for purpose or meaning.

As Einstein said:

Secondly, the rational faculty of our mind is not infallible, often the contrary. You have only access to 0.000000000001% of the available information. The intellect bases its analyses, interpretations, and conclusions on how the subconscious mind has been conditioned.

People tend to perpetuate and strengthen their belief systems, even when these are negative and destructive to themselves or the world around them.

It is not difficult to rationalize yourself into a depression or manipulate someone (f.e. with a conspiracy theory) if you can build on an existing belief. Or you can create belief systems through repetition and emotion.

The moment we become aware of this process is when we can start to do something about it.

Focusing on only the body, the mind, or the spirit is far from optimal. Science is beginning to understand this, as well.

For example:

Many people value materialism above all else. However, research shows that above a certain (relatively low) threshold, more material possessions do little to increase someone's long-term well-being and happiness.

Making ourselves dependent on external sources for our happiness is a never-ending story. At some point, I hope we will collectively realize this and stop the mad scramble for more money, possessions, and power over others.

Happiness and joy come from within, are free, and can be generated at will.

Your life's purpose is to discover, develop, and express your natural talents in meaningful ways so that more livingness is created in your own life and the life of others.

The best thing you can do for other people is to make the most of yourself, just like an apple tree needs to develop and express itself before we can harvest and enjoy its fruit.

You can help others while discovering and developing yourself, and your impact will only increase as you express your potential.

Your most significant contribution will always come by serving from your strengths in areas that mean much to you.

Our responsiveness, i.e., the degree to which we take responsibility for our growth process, will determine whether we thrive in the 21st century.

There is no escaping this, and it is precisely what makes our journey exciting. Any good story is best at the climax of massive change, danger, and adventure.

People can be the hero in their own stories. Still, they must take responsibility for their journey and take charge of their transformation.

All of us have that power. It's up to us to use it wisely.

The better you know yourself, the more you can develop and express yourself, make wise choices, and protect yourself against evil influences and manipulation.

You can use resources like tests, books, courses, and apps to learn about your strengths, weaknesses, and personality traits.

Most people are not self-aware at all. This makes it easier for organizations like Facebook and Google to know them better than they know themselves.

Self-unawareness opens the door for potential for-profit manipulation.

We should all be the foremost experts in ourselves. Yet, only some people could answer the most elementary questions about who they are, what they are good at, and where they are going.

Think about any great book, movie, or game. The process of becoming, growing, and walking the journey is more important than arriving at the final destination.

Climbing Mount Everest would not be transformational if climbers were just dropped at the summit.

Life is happening today, not at an imaginary moment in the future.