From what I've seen, it isn't so much the act of asking that paralyzes us - it's what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.
Asking for help is a Magic Move if there ever was one.
We tell our children to ask for help when they don’t understand something, are bullied, or are struggling.
Yet, as adults, we often do just the opposite. We hide in the false safety of our comfort zone. We try to face every obstacle alone and ask for help only when we can no longer cope.
Everyone needs help from time to time. Yet we often find it difficult to ask for it. We are afraid of being seen as weak or needy by others.
Asking for help is a sign of strength
The people we ask for help don’t see our plea for aid as a sign of weakness. Asking for help is a sign of strength. It requires courage to dare to be vulnerable.
We walk around with a flawed mental model that is weak to be in a position of vulnerability.
We want other people to see us as strong and resilient when, in fact, there is not a single human being on earth who doesn’t struggle at times and wouldn’t appreciate a listening ear or a warm hug.
What is the worst thing that can happen when you ask for help?
That someone doesn’t help? You’ll still be exactly where you were before.
That people consider you weak? Is what others think of you more important than daring to ask for help?
Most people like to help
Helping others is something most people love to do. Knowing that you can make a difference in someone else’s life feels good. It creates a sense that your own life is meaningful.
We could reframe asking for help as giving another person a chance to make their life more meaningful. Reframing our predicament like this may make asking for help easier.
If you need help, dare to ask for it.
It’s a sign of courage.
It’s a Magic Move you should not be afraid to make.
